There is a lot I don’t completely understand about myself for example… I often converse with myself at random periods of the day usually ending the conversation with “I’m such a faggot.” Or the fact I order from multiple fast food restaurants via drive thru and have the saddest feast in my super awesome fast Scion tC.


or should I say pussy wagon.
or should I say pussy wagon.

One day when I’m allowed I will find the answers to these and much more when I’m able to smoke copious amounts of marijuana in Colorado on a park bench next to a sleeping homeless guy just like my mom wanted!

Until then, I will make subpar blogs on various topics that seem to interest no one but myself so lets jump on this groovy train to the destination of the fictional town of Kanto in the series Pokemon.

Ash Ketchum is your typical ten year old boy who has no pubic hair, hasn’t held a job, and hasn’t learned anything significant in life. Yet the town of Kanto are entrusting him early on in the series with a fucking monster-rat that shoots deadly bolts of electricity at will, and to top it off this monster-rat hates it’s new master from the get go. The episode makes a couple light hearted jabs at killing this child by having this rat shock him every couple of frames. If I were Ash Ketchum I would have killed and skinned that fucker served him over a fire and teach children its delicious to eat the carcasses of slain fictional animals. With his trustee side kick Ash sets off on a journey without parental supervision with blessings from his mother and a so called professor who I’m sure had no real formal education.

I wouldn't trust him with birds or children.
I wouldn’t trust him with birds or children.

Ash isn’t now the only homeless ten year old child wandering dangerous forests where grown criminals actively try to rob him of his prized possession Pikachu.

They're like the original destiny's child.
They’re like the original destiny’s child.

Every single child in the town of Kanto is as well entrusted with several different dangerous monsters made seemingly harmless to go forth and not lay a path of destruction, death, and hopelessness. Could you imagine if shit like this went around today? Kids now a days don’t go outside without a suppository GPS tracker and you are just going to let these kids go? How irresponsible of you. I tried calling social services but they said something along the lines of “its ridiculous you are taking a children’s television show this serious, stop calling us.”  THANKS OBAMA.

Where is the animals rights activists for these monsters? This shit is practically slavery and they are fighting to the death every time.

Where is the father in the picture you asked? Presumably, I believe he is dead. Ash Ketchum’s drunk mother mentioned before he left that he reminded her of his father when he left on his journey when he was ten years old.

Leading me to believe that Ash’s father knocked her up at the age of ten since fuck it he’s a traveling band now, leaving her alone to raise a child for ten years before throwing him back out to the very same country that claimed his fathers life. This is all speculation of course I have no way to prove this since the series has various holes and differing story plots, no pokemon wasn’t a very good show at all.

This shows existence during that era was purely to sell merchandise which worked quite well but I believe its just such a dishonest way about it, not because its bad technique but give me a show I can watch and love now. Like for example I watch old re-runs of blues clues I’m entertained and I try to my best to find those clues before those kids do.

Pokemon on the other hand I just change the channel to Fox & Friends and agree with everything they say.

Did anybody real know how to play the card game? There was only a few individuals I knew that possessed the knowledge, I assume now a days they are making alchemy circles in their attempts to summon Satan to take over the world.  They were also my friends but that’s besides the fact.


I’m embarrassed at my choices of television.